Lets set up a sequence of events. Imagine I've got a hot date. (Come on, S-T-R-E-T-C-H your imagination!) Naturally, I want to look and smell good for her. Maybe my appearance will overcome my drab personality and I'll at least get to first base. Okay, what do I do? First I get rid of the cave man look by shaving because stubble has a tendency to keep a woman's face about an inch from my own. That's no good because my lips aren't thick enough to make up the gap. Next, I brush my teeth because I hate trying to talk to a girl when she's ten feet away with a lit match in front of her nose. It drives me up a wall when I sneak around, blow in her ear, and her nose wrinkles! All right, now I've gotten myself worked up so much thinking about the evening that, predictably, nature calls. After that is taken care of I take a nice, warm, soapy bath and get dressed up. Awww, how irresistible can the kid be?!

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